vendredi 27 février 2009

Bill Hicks day


16/12/1961 - 26/02/1994

J'allume une clope... Pour le comique préféré des aigris, des pessismistes et des dépressifs. Le meilleur de tous. Bill Hicks est parti il y a quinze ans, tué par le cancer à 32 ans seulement. Avec Bill Hicks, on se poile en parlant de trucs sérieux qui foutent le cafard.

"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."

"I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fuckin' mouth."

"It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious."

"People suck, and that's my contention. I can prove it on a scratch of paper with a pen. Give me a fucking Etch-a-sketch, I'll do it in three minutes. The proof, the fact, the factorum. I'll show my work, case closed. I'm tired of this back-slapping "aren't humanity neat ?" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes, okay ? That's all we are. "

"People come up to me and say, "What's wrong ?" "Nothing." "Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile." "Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone ?"

"You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know. During the Persian Gulf war, those intelligence reports would come out: "Iraq: incredible weapons — incredible weapons." "How do you know that ?" "Uh, well... we looked at the receipts."

"I'm so sick of arming the world, then sending troops over to destroy the fucking arms, you know what I mean ? We keep arming these little countries, then we go and blow the shit out of them. We're like the bullies of the world, y'know. We're like Jack Palance in the movie Shane, throwing the pistol at the sheepherder's feet."

"You ever notice that everyone who believes in creationism looks really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, it looks like he rushed it."

"Here is my final point. About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography and smoking and everything else. What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet ?"

"Did you know that every time a guy comes, he comes 200 million sperm? Did you know that? And you mean to tell me you think your child is special ? Because one out of 200 million sperm connected . . . that load ? Gee, what are the fucking odds? Do you know what that means ? I have wiped entire civilizations off of my chest, with a grey gym sock. That is special. Entire nations have flaked and crusted in the hair around my navel. That is special. And I want you to think about that, you two-egg-carrying beings out there with that holier-than-thou, we-have-the-gift-of-life attitude. I have tossed universes, in my underpants, while napping. That is special."

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2 commentaires:

Anonyme a dit…

Je connaissais pas, mais c'est très très bon.

Spaceman a dit…

Bill Hicks is my favorite comedian of all time. I share a birthday with him. I only wish he'd been around for the Bush years...imagine the material!